““Forgive others, not because they always deserve it, but because they and you need the cleansing power of forgiveness.” —Illens Dort

When I was twelve or thirteen years old I had a little disagreement with a lady in our community. I thought I was treated unkindly and I retaliated. The incident was reported to my father who disciplined me. At that time, I didn’t think nor believe I did anything wrong. But my behavior (not being kind) was not in harmony with the principles that my parents taught me. As a payback for getting me in trouble with my parents I decided that I would never say hi to her. The best way to do that was to avoid her all together. If I saw her coming, I would turn my back and go the opposite direction or take a different route.

I was comfortable with behaving this way for about 8 years. Eventually, a silent mutual agreement was formed to never speak to each other again. I thought she did not like me and will probably never like me. For a long time, our arrangement did not bother me. After all I had a lot of people who liked me.

In the early part of 1983, a little over 8 years since that incident had happened, I had a change of heart that constituted a greater change of behavior (even though I was always a good person). I decided to have peace and a place in my heart for all.

One Sunday, after not having seen this lady for over 3 years, I found myself crossing her path. Without thinking about it I walked by her without saying hi. This time I reacted out of habit; I just responded as I had for so long. 

Suddenly, I felt a sense of urgency to return and approach her. While it was uncomfortable at first, I took courage and I followed the prompting of a greater spirit of kindness. I rushed to her and looked her in the eyes and offered my sincere apology. I told her that for many years I wanted to apologize to her. But, I did not have the courage. 

In addition, I was not sure she would accept my apology. I asked her to forgive me for my behavior. At that point, I had already forgiven her in my heart. I just needed an occasion to show it by my action. She responded with the sweetest words that a forgiving soul can utter. She said, “My son, I too have been waiting for you to talk to me. I wished I had the courage to reach out to you.”

Oh, how great it felt. I conquered the enemy of my soul. She was not my enemy. I was not her enemy. The enemy was my attitude toward her and the feelings I harbored in my heart for so many years. We both were friends who needed to be liberated by the power of forgiveness.

I walked back home that afternoon with such a great joy and peace. My burden had been lifted. I had found my friend. 

Since that moment, our mortal paths have not crossed again. She was the age of my mother. She probably already left this world. I am so glad I had the courage to make that move; first to forgive her and second to ask her to forgive me. 

If you have someone that you need to forgive, take this moment to start the process in your heart. Look for opportunity to show it by your action. Plan it. Pray about it if you need to. Act on the prompting of a greater spirit of kindness. Life is too short.

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Thank you for your time!!!  Illens Dort – authour of Thinking and Acting with a Compassionate Heart.