“I have yet to meet a stranger. For, there is none.”
In the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, stranger is defined as “a person or thing that is unknown or with whom one is unacquainted.” The reverse of this definition is also true. Once we take time to know someone or to be acquainted with that person, that person is no longer a stranger. The question remains how long does it take us to know someone?
Some years ago, I was attending a networking event. There were eight of us at the table. We had not met before. We were given 2 minutes each to share something about us and briefly talk about our businesses. Before we were done, I no longer felt I was in the company of strangers. If within few minutes of interaction with one another I had a different feeling about these people, that also means what I thought of them was only a precipitated judgement. Once I devoted the time to get to know them I was no longer a stranger to them; and them to me. They were friends that I had to cultivate. Changing the way I think of others helps me be more mindful of how I need to treat them.
If you like this post, I invite you to take a moment to share it with people in your circle of influence. Click on the picture to share your thoughts in the comment field below.
Thank you for your time!!! Illens Dort – authour of Thinking and Acting with a Compassionate Heart. To buy a copy go to https://www.amazon.com/author/Illensdort.
My kids dread going into public with me. When I joyfully announce that we are going on a trip to the grocery store, I am met with grumbling and annoyed grimaces. The general consensus is that I will either embarrass them by striking up conversation in the produce section, start a joke telling session with the guy stocking dairy, or do an interview in the cashier’s line for an interest piece in my journal.
I have a genuine interest in people and their stories. I love to hear about their interests, how and where they grew up, what their family dynamics are like, their challenges and accomplishments. I crave that connection with others.
Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder performed research that examined why strangers refuse to connect to each other even though it is generally known that connections make us feel good. They asked commuters if they would enjoy the commute more by interacting with others or by remaining in solitude. Most people responded that they would prefer solitude on their commute. They then instructed some commuters to interact with others and some to refrain from interaction and then gathered their response. The commuters instructed to interact reported enjoying their commute far better than those instructed to refrain from interaction.
It appears that there are two false beliefs we carry with us. One is that we will not find joy in trying to connect with strangers and the other belief is that we will be bothering others if we try to interact.(1)
We are, by our own nature, social beings. We find joy and fulfillment in connecting with others. It is part of our innate design. When we reach out to others, we also learn that our prejudice or prejudgement of others is often false. We learn that the world is bigger than we thought and people are generally better than we believe. Each of us has our own personality flaws and imperfections just as each of us has talents and gifts to share.
My desire to connect with others comes naturally. It brings great satisfaction into my life. More often than not I am blessed with new friends and new perspective that I would have never gained had I not followed my natural curiosity and desire to connect.
1. Epley N & Schroeder J. Mistakenly Seeking Solitude. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/53e4/a533908ed0c84fec22a52dbc8415d9b0f45e.pdf